Living in a group has many practical advantages
  • 1 household insurance policy instead of 3.
  • The living expenses are distributed among several people.
  • In case of unemployment, the financial loss can be better absorbed.
  • The upbringing or care of the children is taken care of by several people.
  • The group may get by with fewer vehicles (1 car instead of 2 or 3 etc.).
The importance of affinity
  • Monogamy demands that two people are a good match (affinity).
  • In polyamory however, affinity relinquishes its importance to group dynamics and becomes secondary. 
  • Human being is very responsive to group dynamics, which is why we value the coming together of similarly minded people (birthday celebrations, camps, dinner together, outings with friends etc.).
  • Love is blind. Since it takes a few years to find out whether you are a good match or not, so many marriages get divorced, because by the time you become aware of it, you're already married.​
  • Moral values such as loyalty, mutual respect, esteem, consideration etc. are sufficient in polyamory. 
  • In monogamy, however, affinity is an additional requirement (i.e. the chemistry must be right). 
Illustration: Instead of being annoyed that the goalkeeper is not a good scorer (monogamy), the whole team will appreciate him because the opponent can't score goals (polyamory).
  • ​In other words: In polyamory, the various tasks are divided up according to their respective skills. And instead of getting annoyed with each other's weaknesses, one rejoices in their strengths.
  • In a group, it is easier to be with someone who has a difficult character than living alone with him/her. ​​
Love and sex
  • In polyamory, intimacy is an essential, binding factor that units the group.
  • In monogamy, heterosexuality is an exclusivity that leads to jealousy, quarrelling and divorce in the event of a violation.
  • In a threesome household a bisexual person does not need to choose between a man and a woman.
  • In a polyamorous environment, it is also not very problematic if sexual needs differ noticeably among individuals, because it is secondary with whom one exchanges intimate relations. 
  • If one person becomes seriously ill, perhaps incurably so, the two healthy people are not obliged to remain sexually abstinent (another taboo that we don't talk about in our monogamous societies).
  • Sex in monogamous partnerships tends to become bland and monotonous over time. 
  • However, sex within a team has a stimulating effect also in the long term: 
​Who wants to be peeling potatoes in the kitchen when the other two are having a good time in bed? ​
If there were a competition for organisational talent, my ex-wife would have been world champion. In a small team, all her strengths would have really come into their own and the sexual tensions could have been balanced out. 
Summarised: The group automatically creates a natural balance on different levels!

Association: 1plus2

I have founded an association called ‘1plus2’: In the long term, 1plus2 aims to establish a new legal form of marriage that allows for the union of more than two partners. Unlike the legal forms of polygamy, in which a man marries several women (polygyny) or a woman has several husbands (polyandry), 1plus2 advocates a legal form in which more than two people can marry one another. You can find more information at 1plus2.cool
By Chris Zürcher. Page updated on 14 July 2026